Single's Ads and Internet Dating

One of my best friend's from High School, CountryGirl, called me this morning at 7:41am. Yes, she's on the east coast, but she's smart enough to know that 7:41am is quite early over here on the west side of the world. Not that she woke me up, because I'm a big ball of energy and I am always up this early, however, let's face it, there are just certain times of the day that aren't appropriate to ring someone.

Anyway, she calls. I pick up "house of beauty this is cutie," I sing this only because this is how we have been answering each others calls since way before caller ID came along.

"Bunny, OMG, I'm getting married! He finally asked me. Can you believe it?"

Mental note to self "you must pay more attention to what other people are saying to you. Listen, when others are speaking. It is NOT all about you Bunny!"

Shit! I didn't even know that she was dating someone and she's telling me "he finally asked me." Clearly this is someone that I should know about. Shit!

"Wow, CountryGirl, this is amazing. I'm so happy for you." Still wondering who the hell it is she's marrying and why I can't for the life of me remember who it is. So I pry, "CountryGirl, I know you've told me this but how long have the two of you been dating?" She replies, "Since August. We met on match.com. Don't you remember, you met him at my Christmas party?"

Wow, it's nice to know that she's marrying someone so memorable.

Back to the reality of the situation. My mind begins going crazy with questions that I know are inappropriate to ask "WHAT? Since August? match.com? I thought match.com is where you went when you were looking go load up your 'sexual partners' list. But people can find hubbies there? Do you think they have a 'rich guys seeking trophy wives' section?"

Ok, I so it happens, people search the personal ads, and meet online, I can realistically understand this concept. We do live in the 21th century... but come on. How do you explain to your kids, "Honey, Mommy and Daddy, met online and got engaged in less than six months? And I didn't think that daddy was actually a serial killer." But then I thought about where I come from. Most people back home are already married with a few kids and probably even one on the way. At least CountryGirl made it through her twenties before marriage. But I still don't get it. SIX MONTHS. Do you think perhaps my loyal friend has been searching and searching for an old man to have and to hold til death do they part and just couldn't find any takers? Fuck, what if I don't even find any takers? Shit. I'm in full panic mode. I can't let this happen. Everyone will start getting married. It's like the old saying "one bad apple spoils the bunch." Quick think of something.

"CountryGirl" I say "We're just not old enough to get married. And I don't want to talk about it anymore. Call me again when there's a date!"

"We're getting married in June! Having a nice small ceremony in town, we'd love for you to come. Can you give me your address so that I can send the invitation?"

Wow. I ponder to myself, "Are we old enough to get married?" Quite frankly, the idea of being with only one man for the rest of my life scares the shit out of me. I'm a city girl now, we simply just don't get married.

I guess, the only thing I can say about the situation is this: Thank goodness she didn't ask me to be in the wedding. I should surprise myself with a nice pair of Manolo's for the money I just saved!