Ex Factor

Love either exists on a deeply profound level in which I have not yet grasped, or not at all.

My general rule for one nights stands, causal sex encounters, and even relationships, is this: ALL MEN come back. It may not happen in a week, or a month, or even a year, but eventually, they come back. What causes this phenomenon, I am not yet certain of, however, be assured that it does happen. It could be they date and date, then realize that no one is quite as good as you were, or perhaps, they never stopped thinking us and finally get the balls to call, or something strikes a memory from the "good old days."

Well, imagine my surprise when 5 months ago, an old flame returned to my life. He shows up, takes me to, what I thought was just a friendly meal. Cut to: The "walk me to the door" moment, the realization hit me, I am indeed being pushed back into the enemy territory. He likes me. Shit. Fuck. What the hell am I going to do?

I have this fabulous (who turned out to be not so fabulous), man that I've just started seeing and now this man (the EX man) shows up at my door, ready to wisk me off of my feet. UGH. Of course, this is how it typically happens.

Fast forward: 3 months.

After deciding to try and make this second chance work, even post him not calling for two weeks over Christmas, nothing at New Years and no plans to see each other for 3 months. Here we are, meeting up in Sin City for a weekend. He's made plans for dinners and shows... and he seems to be excited to see me.

It was a disaster.

I ended it.

But remember "the golden rule," THEY ALWAYS COME BACK.

It's been one week and one day since I broke it off. Heard him say, "this could never work, we're too far away from each other." And now he's calling again. To be my friend.

I don't want to be friends right now. I want to be left alone. In silence. For me to sleep with random men, just because I'm angry and hurt. I'm hurt because I let you do it to me again. I'm mad at me.

Ok, ranting done!