Friends with Bennies

The friends dilemma. Yea. We meet up for drinks, have martini's, head back to his place, and make crazy love to each other. The next morning I wake up in the arms of someone I've known for years, but don't really know anything about him. It's nice, warm and cozy there, but I know that this is as far as it goes.

Then, of course, we tend to not speak to each other for what seems to be weeks, however, by the calendar it's more like 4 or 5 days. And usually the next time we see each other is at 1am, post many cocktails with the girls. This happens sporadically until one party decides they are tired of being used, and quite frequently, it's the female part of the equation. Some people like to hold on to this relationship for as long as they can, because occasionally these relationships (if you can call it that) turn into more, not normally though. I personally, am tired of being the "one night stand." I am exhausted by laundry list of "what did I do,""why am I not good enough," and "how can I change it." So typically I choose to bail on it. I don't like holding on to the what ifs, or maybe laters. For me it's all about right now. And if right now isn't happening, perhaps we can revisit it after some time has passed.

Anyway, skipping ahead to the point, all of a sudden this cultural phenomenon, has become the norm. We have more lovers than boyfriends. More dates than days in the week. More sexual partners than underwear. Wait... maybe that's what is wrong with me. I don't have that much sex. My particular "one night stands" are usually just long nights of kissing and cuddling. Holy Shit. Maybe that's why I'm single. I don't give it up enough.

There is so much propaganda on the subject of dating, that I don't know what to believe anymore. Do I wait a particular period of time to engage in the horizontal shuffle? Should I do it right away? What about the three date rule? Fuck, do I call him ever? What if he doesn't call the next day after we hook up?

Ok, now you know that I am totally neurotic. But seriously these are the things that I think about when I meet someone new that makes my little heart flutter. I am so freaking confused, I don't know what to do, when to do it. Or how to do it. And most importantly, it then becomes not even worth the bullshit that I have to put up with to "not be lonely."

You know I'm not a loner, by any means, but I must admit to all of you that I would in fact rather be at home on the couch alone than to have to deal with the shit you have to endure, just to get a good fuck. I mean, procreation is suppose to be easy right? Not that anyone is trying to procreate, but the act that leads to it is quite nice. That's why we do it. I can promise you one thing, if God didn't make the act of making babies so pleasant, no one would have them. Do you know anyone who WANTS to stay up all hours of the night, changing poopy diapers, and getting spit up on?

The point. The point, Bunny. Try to stay on track here.

Friends with benefits. Does it work? In short, nope, it never does, however, we all know that when it comes to matters of the heart (or in reality, knowing you have someone to snuggle up next to on the couch every night), this is probably not an easy question to dive into. So here's the reality of it: The idea of sleeping with someone with absolutely no intentions of furthering the relationship, is perhaps your only viable option in Los Angeles. So I say, go for it!