Chubby Chaser

Ok, in a weak moment of panic during a Fredrick's raid, I texted an ex. Well, in truth, he's not my ex, he's someone I went on a few dates with, we had some good oral - but honestly, I can't remember ever actually having sex. But if memory serves me correctly, we never did the horizontal shuffle - I think we tried.... but well you know. Too much champagne. Perhaps.

Well now that loads of time has passed, you would think that I am over it. Sort of, I guess, in reality I am over it, but in my mind I often times reminisce about our times together. How softly he touches me, and insists on touching inch of my body with his tongue. It's nice to remember when you haven't had any hanky panky in while.

Then of course, the person in my life who brings truth and reason finally called me on my shit. "Bunny, why is it that continuously lust for the smart but fat dudes. And then get yourself so worked up over it. Get over yourself. Move on."

OH MY GOODNESS, I finally realize something about myself that I have never been able to see before:

I am a Chubby Chaser.

Despite my best efforts at keeping a lean, toned figure, I have kept myself cycle of definite disappointment. By narrowing my search down to guys who hover at about 15-30 pounds over their average weight, I have not only ensured myself frustration every single time my man takes off his shirt, but I have also, ruled out any man with pecks. Sigh. That is (in LA) the majority of the population - well that includes the ones that don't like girls but still.

I keep telling myself (and everyone I know) that I desire the moment just before I am about to get it on with a man where I slide my hand down his chest, over his rock solid abs and feel his very defined hips grinding against mine...

But due to my current mental state, that hand has been sliding down to his rolls. Jolly old rolls.

I keep lying to myself about what I am looking for... but today, I am telling the world (and asking the universe to find it for me), that I want a hot, sexy, lover this time.

Humm, I guess I will have to start paying attention at the gym. And stop caring if they're dumb.

For now, I am off the Tubby's!